Hate vs. Love

Fri, 21 Dec 2007 02:15:54 GMT

Dear Future,
I can only hope that you’ll bring me something worth this stress, this anxiety, this angst; because whenever I dream about you, all I do is run.

I think I know everything about you and Past—where I’m going, where I’ve been, who I’ll meet, who I’ve met—but when I’m running, running, running, running, I’m running from you.

So, please, you’re kind of scaring me here. Do you think you could back off a little bit?

I keep telling myself: "Self, you need to start updating these journal things more often!" And I try; really, I do--with the amount of time online I spend browsing uselessly, you'd think I would have the time, right? I mean, I updated last about two months ago (the novel is on hiatus; other writings have captured my fleeting attention...for now :P)

Maybe it's my audience or lack thereof, but is it always human nature to work harder when praised, or is that just me?

I wish I was one of those people who are more efficient with nothing against them or criticism; however, I am not, but I do intend on trying. Really.

A quick update:
I failed French. I'm going to try and smooth talk my way into a passing grade, as I only failed by two or three points, and I'm pretty sure my teacher likes me, so we'll see. Other than that, nothing particularly exciting is happening to me. Or ever seems to happen, really; looking at my life, I actually feel quite boring. Mark that down on the list of things to work on.

Francis Coppola is coming out with a new film! I quite like Sofia Coppola's work too, but Francis is truly a master. I'm excited to see that; the title is Youth Without Youth. I still have been meaning to see I'm Not There, the Bob Dylan movie (with Cate Blanchet) but I haven't gotten around to it yet.

Holiday shopping is a total drag. I think I'm just getting everyone hot chocolate; other than people who dislike chocolate or are lactose intolerant, who can say not to William & Sonoma's brand? No one!

Anyway, I need to study more Macbeth for my English final tomorrow. Happy Thursday. (I need a new profile)

Insomnia, party of one--novel in the works.

Tue, 23 Oct 2007 03:36:00 GMT

I do believe I may be developing insomnia. Most sleeping pills don't work on me anymore; over the weekends, in fits of exhaustion, I sleep up to fourteen hours a day. As my social life picks up, I've been out later and in bed less--which I'm sure isn't a very good thing, as I'm left with little time to do homework, save for late into the night. Last week, I had about three cups of caffeine as I didn't even hit the mattress. Yikes. If you stumble across this, which I doubt since no one knows my LJ, I'd love some feedback on what to do.

Anyway, the main reason I've decided to try and pick up LJ again is because I've begun to write a...well, I'm not sure. A novel of some sort; your typical YA literature, simply put. I've written about forty Word pages, and I'm about at 17,400 words at the moment. The purpose of my LJ renewal is to track my progress.

I doubt I'll get it published, as I'm an amateur teenage writer (my birthday passed, by the way, and I'm now fifteen, which feels a bit odd). But it will be nice to finish something, to look back and say, "Hey--I've written a book."

I want it long. It's still in its first draft form, and as I've never completed an original story before, I really want to see how this goes. :)

-Sar

typomunster

Hate vs. Love

Insomnia, party of one--novel in the works.